Oh girl, hang in there and take the advice above – GET OUT! You have been chasing this man because of what you hope it could be or think it might be. The reality of it is that it’s not making you happy. He is not giving you what you need and you have handed over your life and your happiness to him. From what I can tell you are an amazing smart woman with her entire life ahead of her. Please don’t give it up for someone that cannot commit to you and cannot be honest with you.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Recognize what is making you unhappy right now and create a plan for yourself to move towards the things that make you happy with yourself without this man. You have a chance to start fresh. Look at it an adventure. Right around the corner is something really amazing waiting for you. You just need to let go of this and move toward the good waiting.