I am in a very similar situation right now. My boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years. He dumped me because he said we weren’t right for each other and he wasn’t happy. A few weeks later, after we had both been with other people and I had tried multiple times to get him to give me another chance, he wanted to give me another chance. Lol. I said yes, and then a few months later he proposed to me. I’m only 19 and it was in front of a group of people; part of me wanted to say no but I couldn’t. So we were engaged. My boyfriend is a very possessive, jealous, and insecure person and he began to yell at me every couple of weeks for what happened when we were apart even though he did the same thing and he was the one who broke up with me. I finally got sick of being treated like dirt 75% of the time and I dumped him. Two days later he called me crying begging for me back and told me he would change and would change his lifestyle to fit mine. But things don’t feel right now that we are back together. I don’t want him to have to change for me. I want to see the world, he hates traveling. Things like this just make me wonder whether he is the right fit for me. I’m happy when I’m with him, like you are with your boyfriend. When we are apart I have doubts, just like you. I’m also ready to leave him at any sign of him returning to his old self, like you.

As Al said, OUR happiness is what’s most important. Not to say our boyfriend’s aren’t, it’s a catch 22 really. But anyways, you need to sit and think about what you want. Get some time away from him so you can really just let your emotions sink in. This is what I’m going to do because I am in the same situation. Life is so short and there is so much to do, and if you can’t see a future with someone should you waste your time and theirs anymore? It’s not so easy to answer or take action on, I know. Our gut usually knows what is right, and if it is telling you that you would be happier being more of an individual and not being “tied down” by someone then maybe you already know the answer.
My neighbor told me before I broke up with my boyfriend that I didn’t have to do it right then, that I have time to think and decide what I want. You have time. Think hard on it and do what is best for you. If you end up being able to see a future with him and being happy then stay! If not, you have to decide what to do. Love yourself and put yourself first!

If you need someone to talk to or need advice I am here!

Namaste,

Nicole

Break ups are very difficult. We all go through them and you are DEFINITELY not the only one feeling this kind of pain and loneliness. It sucks and it hurts. Especially to be confused on top of all of it.
Do not think you are stuck with that woman, because you are not. She may have feelings for you but if you do not share the same feelings for her then it is, quite literally, a waste of your time. Love yourself more. Love yourself enough to say you can’t be in a relationship where you are not happy. Life is a beautiful gift, and if we do only get one, do you want to live it like this? The wonderful thing about this website is that these articles on here are meant to help people like me and you in several ways. Read them. Your happiness is controlled by you. It’s simple, but hard to do, I know. An article I read recently said something along the lines of, “The way you look at life is all about your mindset. If you do not focus on the negative things that happen, you will be a happier person because all that will happen to you are positive things.” It is so simple, yet we are almost programmed to be negative! I’ve been thinking about that article a lot lately and have been trying to focus more on the positive things in my life.
The pain is awful. Being single may suck at first. But, you are still young. You will heal. Every day is hard, but eventually you will find that the pain will start to go away. You will feel better. Just recently I was broken up with after a two year relationship. I didn’t eat, could barely sleep and cried all day every day. Three weeks later, though, I was starting to feel better. I found that this person was holding me back. You can move forward and become better, like me. Ignore your ex’s snide remarks and psycho-ness. Get a restraining order, block his phone number, whatever you can do. He is a negative impact on your life. Shut him out!
Maybe you can’t tell your parents about this encounter with the lesbian woman. You do not need to, though. You have inner turmoil about it and that’s obvious. Maybe you see it as a mistake; do not. See it as a learning experience. We all mess up sometimes and do things that we may regret. Life goes on, though, and living with that inner turmoil is not worth it. You just have to say to yourself, “Hey, I may have messed up, but I learned from it. I know now what I wouldn’t have known before if I hadn’t tried.”
In short, read these articles, focus on yourself and loving yourself, and block out the negative and focus on the positive. Do what you need to do to make you happy, there is nothing wrong with that.

Namaste