I am so sorry, I think it is a very hard thing to be disappointed with yourself. This being said, you must learn to forgive yourself as you would want others to forgive you. Don’t judge yourself by your past…you do not live there anymore. The very fact that this bothers you so much shows you are growing in integrity and character, some lessons are hard to learn, now you know what not to to, lesson learned.
Best wishes
Sherry