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May 4, 2022 at 5:36 am #399479
While most co-parenting relationships are within the same state, my mom moved two states over back to where she grew up to help give me a better childhood. I will also say, looking back, it was my dad who mostly kept our relationship with less contact than I wanted. He had a weekend a month he could visit me in my home state and he never did, and sometimes he had to cancel my visit a week before I went to see him.
I can tell you that I indeed was bullied throughout my middle and high school years, though during middle school it was more numerous times while high school was more big incidents. The relationships probably would have ended either way, but some of them were just a nasty split.
I also was somewhat pressured into succeeding, no more than most kids though. My mother just wants me to be successful in life.
There are a ton of little mistakes that add up. I don’t listen to what’s being asked, I do things not in the right way or order, and so on. Add this in to a family buisness and it’s not just my time I’m wasting but hers, and for a buisness time is money. There have also been times when I’ve done things I’ve been told I shouldn’t do, mostly talking to people who bring me down, and also a case of pronography (I am misspelling it in case that’s a word you’d rather use a different one on here) addiction when I was younger.
Even with the knowledge that the love my mother and I have is unconditional, I still go back to the old ways and feel if I don’t so good I’m not worthy of love. So yeah, I guess that is a good way of putting it.May 3, 2022 at 8:05 pm #399476
I shall start by saying no, my mother always supported a relationship between my dad and I. It’s just the times I saw him were for apart, as a kid even of that age months felt like a metaphorical eternity.
I was basically a social pariah in my high school. I had few friends, and seemed to rub most people the wrong way when we first met. Some claimed it was just how I looked, I know I’m not the best looking, some said it was my voice pre puberty, others just didn’t like my personality. Throughout the years I always shed friends, many friendships would die out even as I tried to help foster them. I will admit, sometimes I tried too hard to keep a friendship going and thats what killed them.
This could partially do with the aforementioned wall I metaphorically built around my heart. I tend to lie to anyone and everyone including my self, and this is one of the few times I have been fully honest. I have been told I can be fake sometimes, acting strong so others can lean on me is how it’s usually portrayed.
Going to how my mom reacts, I will say she doesn’t fake it at all. At first she just tried to explain to me the errors of my mistakes, and yes you can tell she was mad. She wasn’t ranting and raving and screaming, just the mad you are when you know someone can do better. Over the years she has grown rather tired of my constant blunders and lies, which brings out her anger more and more. She doesn’t hit things or anything violent like that, it’s just her biggest pet peeve being prodded at for more than five years. What happens is we usually sit down and she gives her talk while I don’t say much out of shame. She sometimes has said things she regrets and I know she doesn’t mean, but later on we have a talk when she isn’t as mad and she apologizes every time time that kind of talk. This sounds like I’m painting her to be a bad guy in a way, she isn’t. She is the best mom I can ask for, she is just tired of this and I want to make sure I make my last chance count.May 3, 2022 at 6:35 pm #399468
I was about 12 at the time, and I will admit like every boy who was taken care of by their mother I always wanted to see more of my dad. He coerced me by saying I could move in with him, go to the same school his girlfriends kids went to, hang out with him more, that type of stuff. That alone was a big rough time, and is probably the biggest mistake I’ve made so far in my life. I atleast have moved away from holding that over my own head, atleast I think I have.
I lied throughout my first year of college, told my mom I was doing fine when I dropped a course and failed another. We also had a ton of rough patches from outside influences, from ex step dads to ex friends etc. I also keep constantly doing things that either have her trust/faith in me vanish, which makes me want to try to either protect her from what I do or to make my self image look better. This gets the defensive lying up, atleast I think it does, but it could also be not wanting to show who I am. I have constantly tried throughout my life to be me, but I was always shot down and ostracized for it. This came to a head with the trip and false charges, then I just built myself a wall around who I am and stayed that way for five or so years. I sometimes feel that lying has been hard coded into my because of the years I spent doing it, and don’t know what really is the root to dig out.