Hi Suze, I read your article and I feel bad for you. It sounds like you’ve had your hands full with narcissistic mothers. It’s especially so upsetting for you and Kev’s mom because of all the years and similarities you endured with your upbringing. I can really relate to this with my father-in-law. Whenever there is a situation that strikes a familiar cord with me, I have a tendency to be very passionate about it. My father-in-law who is so very much like this woman you describe…he talks non-stop about himself; and my wants or accomplishments, (or anyone’s for that matter) etc. are nothing in comparison to what he has done. He complains about everything that I do, belittled me (from getting the wrong kind of Christmas presents or the wrong size birthday presents, to many other criticisms and critical behavior) I’ve dealt with this for 27 years. But one day, I had an aha moment. I don’t have to believe what he says about me (“You know”, he said, “blood is thicker than water”)! I can eliminate myself from the situation whenever I can, and I don’t need to let it drag me down. When I started to pay attention to this reality, I realized I had the upper hand. I loved my father-in-law more because of my realization. I can still only handle so much time with him, but it can be on my terms. When people behave this way, they are only wanting to bring you down with them. I can tell you stories about him and what he’s done that would make your hair curl (or go straight if you have curly hair 🙂 – They are actually hurting, angry, resentful, or some other feeling. Whatever you decide to do, let it be from a place of caring.