Dear Med,

After reading your original post, I have a few things that might be helpful for you to consider. First, I admire your willingness to forgive her for her betrayal of your trust. Forgiveness is not always an easy thing to give. It’s obvious that you do not trust her, and you are definitely justified in that. Your trust was shattered when she hooked up with other men. Understandable. However, it sounds like even though she confessed and says she regrets it, is she doing anything now to try to regain your trust? You stated that she went out clubbing because her friends “forced” her to but she waited out in the car for a couple of hours until they were done…do you honestly believe that deep down in your gut?? Are you both meeting each others needs in the relationship? Do you each know what the others needs are?? I understand that you feel attached to her, but it seems that you are looking for your self worth to be validated by her. You are worthy with or without her! You stated that you cannot “let” her dress a certain way or do certain things. You cannot and should not want to control another person like that. You are both adults and are free to do what you please. There are definitely boundaries that should be established in relationships and you each should decide what the “deal breakers” are, things that will not be tolerated. You do not deserve to live in such distress with the situation as it is. You deserve a happy life with a woman who only has eyes for you, and someone worthy of you and all you have to offer. She is out there…