Hi Anita,

Those are all good points.

1. ) Our daughter is now 4.

2.) I honestly do, I think it’s normal for a lot of young mothers, but I do think about what would have happened if things had been different, or if I had chosen to leave while I was pregnant, would that have been easier than now.

3.) To be completely honest I am terrified,  as much as I do not want to believe it, I do think that if one day I were to start dating and he were to find out, I am scared that he may want to harm our daughter to get back at me. I do sometimes bring up the things he has said/did  in the past about harming himself and others or stalking me and he says that he regrets saying and doing those things, and that he wouldn’t do it now, that he would let it be. I do believe that people can change, but I guess I am just so traumatized, I guess we can use that word, that it’s one of the things that holds me back.

4.) Yes, you are correct, I do feel that way, and it’s one of the things that I wish I could have more clarity on. I am not sure if I feel guilty because I waited this long and I am  seeing his change and still want to leave, or because he is changing and I am still cheating and I am the problem.

5.) It has been going on for quite some time now,  T and I have always had issues with sex. It isn’t fulfilling, and during the year that I did not have contact with C , I tried to spice things up with T. I  wanted us to work out, but he wouldn’t put any effort, or try to satisfy my needs , he honestly just did not care to. When he did want to , it was because I did not want anything sexual with him anymore and stopped showing interest, and I guess he felt that is when he needed to step up.