Thank you so much for reply.That has truly helped me feeling better.I haven’t found any other evidence and I’m not sure is it because there was nothing to find or because I really wasn’t looking for it till now.I don’t actually know who that girl is besides that her name was showing up from time to time (for example I saw her name once on his chat app during our first year together and asked who she is but the reply was as she was completely insignificant daughter of his older friend OR for example I also asked about her or mentioned her once or twice during our relationship but there was no significant reaction other than his statement that she is living abroad in certain country and he never had anything to do with her nor he was ever interested in her, which now obviously is a lie OR once there was a missed call from unknown number with foreign country suffix which happened during our conversation but stopped, and later when I’ve checked it was that country where she resides but he swore that the number is unknown to him ).
There was time just right before our wedding when I asked him for truthful conversation about our previous partners so that we can leave all that behind for good, and I have also told him on that occasion that if I ever find that he lied I will leave him and he swore on his kids from previous marriage that all is true, even that him and her were never together or had anything going on between them cause she is just his superficial acquaintance.And I believed.
And now I saw this email where he is addressing her with the same pet name he uses for me, in the exact same manner as he talks lovingly to me, just few days after my birthday and she replied that he is her love and sent him back thousand kisses.
It hurts.And I don’t wish to speak to him about that because if he obviously lied to me back than without blinking, he’ll lie to me again.And yes, I am deeply hurt and upset by realization that he had no problem at all, for whatever reason, to act with me on that day as I am the only one and minutes after typing a message to her joking about their feelings for each other, teasing her and sending her kisses. Actually it was three related emails forming conversation two days apart.
Everything from that period on his email account has been deleted accept this and a few more emails in Sent folder and current emails related to job.
How can I ever let myself believe him another word after this? And all that time he has been convincing me that I am too jealous etc…
I do have past alike experiences as most of people do. But that can not cover this up or be an explanation for his acts and words and promises and oaths he was using to convince me of his sincerity.
I feel broken, terrible, shattered, BETRAYED, disappointed…
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