Hi Kelsey,

I totally feel you and understand you!
Even though I’m several years older than you, I just had a similar experience with a guy. He acted like he’s into me, said romantic things, and basically led me on…even though I told him I’ve been hurt in the past and that I’m fearful of starting something new.

Yet when I asked him a couple months in what he sees us going toward and how he truly feels about us, he said he can’t have a real relationship right now or be with anyone properly while he’s finishing up school and that he’s not good with long-term relationships.

The lesson is that guys can be very misleading and act in selfish ways and lie, just like girls can. There are guys that fall hard in the beginning, then just lose interest for whatever reason. It’s most likely nothing to do with you.

Also there are guys who want the perks of having a girl in their lives temporarily without putting in the commitment or effort.
I guess beware of guys that want to move too fast, because often times they’re just getting caught up in the moment and not getting to know you properly first in order to develop true feelings for you.

And if a guy is scared off by you revealing your history of sexual abuse, then GOOD RIDDANCE! A guy who’s not mature enough to handle such emotional issues or provide you with the support you need is not someone who will be healthy to have in your life. You need a guy who will be caring, supportive, and glad that you trusted him enough to tell him something so painful about you. And when you find that guy you will know by the way he reacts and responds to you revealing yourself.

Wait for a guy who is worthy! See if you find him good enough first before giving him the power over the relationship. See if he can talk openly about feelings and concerns.

You sound like a self-aware, thoughtful, and loving person with a lot to give. Value yourself and know that you’re worth being treated right.

And yes, I also need to follow my own advice, haha 🙂