Hi Matt! I have been waiting for anyone to reply to my post. I told myself I will listen to anyone’s advice for me. Since we don’t know each other, it wouldn’t be biased. So with all my heart, thank you! You probably gave me one of the best and positive enlightenment.

Today, I felt like I dragged myself to school. Just by seeing him everyday and talking to everyone except me. I don’t know what I did again but last week I smiled at him and he did too. He even told one of my friends that he’d go where I was. Then the day after that, he was ignoring me again as if pushing me away.

As for your question, I want it to go back to “normal”. I want to be able to hang-out with them without the awkwardness. I want him to talk to me. I want us to be friends like none of the bad things between us never happened. I want them to “include” me. I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.

Just to let you know, I tried asking him that… twice or thrice or more. I didn’t get any response and I probably never will. He/ they said, I was demanding too much from him. (This hurt me the most because I tried explaining myself why I got hurt by his actions towards me. I didn’t get any, not a single word from him why he does that.) I tried to accept that he will never tell me why which was unfair for my part really but I carried on. I even said I was sorry just to save the friendship or whatever it is that we have left.

As for our friends, I tried reaching out also, almost forgetting that I, too, have pride. I seemed desperate, trying to push myself back in the inner circle. They did some things that favored him more not me, even the ones I’m closest with or thought so. I don’t think it can go back to the happiness that we had together. And up until now, I can’t accept that fact. I cried over it earlier.

I am just trying to think that their main reason for not including me is that our friends need to separate us because he had the same feelings but he can’t reciprocate because someone (the girlfriend) will get hurt. I would like to think that if we’re meant to be together we will be… maybe not now, in time.

Again, thank you, Matt! For taking the time to read my post. It’s too long, I know.