I know this isn’t easy, especially in a collectivist culture, but you have some options. You can try to talk to them about how they are and how its negative, but this will a tough choice to make as it has the best possible outcome but its risky and really hurting relationships. Another route to go is avoid helping them and just do you’re own thing. Just because they are family doesn’t mean you have to give up so much of what you believe in just because they can’t develop themselves. It might leave you depressed without a good sense of support but there are many out there who’ve been in your situation. A better mind need not be bogged down. Just how i see it. of course its easier for me to say this seeing as I wont have to deal with alienation, depression, support and so on. A person shouldn’t live a lie.