Eliza ,I just spent half an hour writing to you,and managed to delete the whole thing now if that is not clever I don’t know what is.
So I am going for a walk and will try again,We do have to go through the pain not try to avoid it I am sure.
A dear friend of mine went through this with her boy friend and I went through it with my girl friend.So I will go and get clarity as you have given us all here a chance to get clarity on our own pain,by reading and writing about it,so a hug for that I sure as needed it,as soon as I saw the topic I had to come here.
Hope the healing has begun.
There are sure some caring people here,and we all know it isn’t easy.
Well I am back from my half hour walk that took 2 hours.
My relationship was for 10 years(note I had been married for 27 yrs before that)in the relationship due to different culture we did not handle things as well as we could have,we broke up 3 times,it hit so hard that I ended up being taken to a care home,Loved the woman with all my hart always will.( made the mistake of being over emotional)
The first point I wish to make is this as you begin to heal,if the person comes back or you see them etc,the pain starts all over again.I had begun to heal only after 18 months there was communication again,then none and the tears and the mental hell started again,this meant crying when a song came on the radio,or two people holding hands,or a simple walk through the Mall would result in me wanting to flee ,and boy I cried a river or two.
A friend of mine who tried to help could not understand why I wanted to get back with my partner,now this friend of mine is going through the same,and yes she wants him back,now she understands you don’t just flick a switch so second point if the person hasn’t been through it,really they have no idea what it is like,listen to the person who had their hart broken ,and now talks with compassion and understanding.The true lesson I have learned is if we put our happiness in the other persons hands we allow them to have control of our lives,and we hurt and hurt,we need to come from a place where we love but not with conditions,we cant be needy as then people avoid us,wake to your truth ,and you will blossom you will attract through your energy someone who loves you back,don’t think so little of yourself you are to great to do so.