I am divorced.  At the heart of it, was that I was expected to be everything to someone and I never had the right to ask for anything back.  He’d get mad and refuse to talk to me for days over some petty thing; it got much worse after we were married.  I’m pretty strong willed about most things and in this relationship I thought I could handle everything without needing the support.  I did, for a while.  And eventually I ended up very resentful of him.  Then eventually I left.  And when I did, I felt relief and then guilt over being relieved, and then just happiness that I was living the way I wanted.  I had and have a good career and the interactions that I had with my coworkers and friends – the fact they were positive – made me realize how much negativity and strife were permeating my life.  They were changing me and in an awful way.  That realization was really what made me leave.

Do you feel like he makes you a better person, not just that you love him? If not, there are people out there who will.  Trust me.  It will be an amazing and terrifying experience, but you deserve to have your needs met.  Be insistent on those, I know it is hard, but sacrificing yourself will only work for so long before it takes a huge toll on you and your mental health.  Try to make some connections with other people (meetup was really helpful to me) and see what other relationships look like, to give you a sense of what’s great versus not so great.

Best wishes to you; I hope you find some peace and happiness.