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RosieParticipant
you’re right anita that my example wasn’t of her criticizing me. and yes, she is angry. there are many reasons why.
one of my friends also said to give her space so that’s what I’ve been doing. and working on not expecting anything from her.
I don’t think either of us will be happy until she goes to college. until then, I hold my tongue and expect nothing from her. but it hurts. we used to have such fun together. and then she became a teenager.
RosieParticipantHi Cat Lover! (love your name btw) I know you are right and these past few weeks have really taught me plenty!! because my manager decided to do all the budget set up on her own (I offered to help 3 times) it has caused me to be behind. this is something I never like, ever. but I decided that it does not matter. one thing I do like about my manager is that she is so easy going and flexible and NEVER gets mad. I think she got irritated with me once that I know of in the almost one year since I’ve worked there. I think this job and situation are actually helping me realize exactly what you wrote. work should not be so overwhelming. and I refuse to put in the gobs of hours that my manager does. sure, I’ll put in a little extra time to meet a deadline but anything over 45 hours in one week is just too much.
funny that I hadn’t seen your reply until now. Here’s the rest of the story on this job I thought was “perfect” for me. I followed up two weeks after I interviewed: no reply. I followed up two weeks after that and only got this “a hiring decision has not been made yet.” No greeting, no salutation, just that sentence. then I logged in to apply for another job there and what did I see? “position filled”. Wow. I think I’m VERY glad I did not get that position!! This is how they treat potential new employees? Not even a note to say “thanks for your time”. I’m stunned. While I do know that not every place does this, this was the HR department. um, no thanks. not interested.
I also know that if you don’t like going to the place that you work, it is worth it to put in the time to find something you will like better. I know there is no perfect job, but there has to be something better than this. thank you so much for your reply. I truly appreciate it.
RosieParticipantthank you all so much!! I think it went fairly well. I should hear something by the end of next week if the hiring manager wants to speak to me. here’s hoping!
and then I look forward to another interview on Monday. whee!! appreciate the support!!
RosieParticipantokay, I logged in at work and see that at least the head of our dept. has gotten involved. unbelievable, again, for such a large company…..it is beyond belief that this is happening.
RosieParticipantI still don’t know for sure but I saw the job reposted yesterday 🙁 I guess it wasn’t meant to be and they do NOT deserve my fabulous talents!!
meanwhile……..at my current job…something I have never seen in all my working life (going on 30 years….), something pretty disturbing. I work for a very large, global company that apparently doesn’t care enough to have a good IT department. Last week I noticed some files on the network had disappeared. I called the help desk and got a rookie. I say that because I asked about the possibility of restoring the files from the previous day’s backup and was told “I’m sorry, that is not possible.” WHAT???? A company this large doesn’t have backups?? I didn’t panic because I knew the guy was wrong. Here we are a week later and the “hemorrhaging” continues with NO END IN SIGHT!! and there is ZERO leadership. I have been working at home this week so I don’t get to hear the voices at work at all. I feel left in the dark. that’s the least of the troubles but it’s a HUGE reason I want to get the H#LL out of this place!! Please God, haven’t I suffered enough???
The “idiot” IT guy restores the files, they disappear. He re-restores them, they disappear again. there was one folder I was heartsick over because it contained many complicated files that I am not sure I could recreate. Well, he managed to restore it from a month ago and I grabbed those files and saved them to my hard drive for WHEN they disappear again! I can’t believe a company this size doesn’t have security in place to prevent this from happening, first of all. and secondly, why is noone helping this “idiot” IT guy???? where is the leadership???? why has there been NO COMMUNICATION to the rest of our department??? I’ll tell you why. Because this place sucks. I want out so badly now. It wasn’t bad enough before?? now it’s 1000000000 times worse!!
I am up in the middle of the night again not able to sleep. wondering how long I have to look for another job before I can leave this hell hole. Please God, let it end soon. I am not sure how much more I can take. Truly.
RosieParticipantthank you Lizzie and Asmallhope for your replies. I actually got back to sleep and when I woke up I decided that I did my best at that interview, and if I am not chosen to return, then it wasn’t meant to be and there will be something else coming. I was actually THE most relaxed in that interview than any other so far. so I wasn’t thinking things like “I’m not going to get this job” so, yay! and I have been working on many of the things you touched upon Asmallhope. but I do slip and fall back into my old habits, like when I wrote the above post. and you sound much like the book I read last year “the untethered soul”. I think I need to read it again. I get it, but as I say, hard to break old habits.
thanks again, I really appreciate the responses!
- This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Rosie.
RosieParticipantTulips, you are already on your way. the fact that your anger bothers you is actually a good thing. I too have suffered similarly and have been working on it for years literally. It’s definitely a work in progress and you’ve got some great advice up there. I know at least one person with similar issues who likely will never decide to do something about it like you and I have both done. I just wanted to pipe in to tell you “Bravo!” for wanting to do something about it.
RosieParticipantHi Ashwin. thank you for your reply. yes, living in the present is something new for me and something I am definitely striving to do!! so thanks for that reminder. and yes, I do need to give it a bit more time. it’s only been just over 5 months and without all the proper tools, well, that made it a bit more difficult. Friday went very well and my one big report is looking pretty good!! (I screwed it up last month and was scrambling to correct it….) Plus, I got some good news in that the reporting deadline will NOT be moved up!!! that was weighing heavy on my mind so things are already looking up! whee!!!
on the subject of retiring….my body and mind are already starting to “break down”. I have a couple of physical issues and one started bothering me today. I did some exercises so hoping it doesn’t bother me this week. I would love to retire now, alas, gotta keep chugging along until we build up the funds. I can definitely feel the difference now as opposed to when I was 25 or 35…..
okay, enough out of me for now. thanks again for your kind and wise reply. appreciate it greatly!!
RosieParticipantthank you Lyn for your reply. I keep getting migraines and that really doesn’t help my situation either. and the migraines might be “change of life” related as well. hard to say. could be a combination. my thoughts were very jumbled in my first post above as I was on the tail end of a week long bout of migraines…..sometimes I think I am just too old to work any more! hoping to retire in about 7 years. we’ll see…..
the other thing is: there is no perfect job. I know this after having worked for over 30 years and after having many different jobs. This one is just okay. I have many improvement ideas and one big one that I hit a snag with then had to put aside for the next round of monthly reports started again. and I have one more week at the end of September where I can hopefully wrap that up. I need to just take one day at a time, do the best I can and try really hard not to stress myself out.
okay, won’t go on and on. thanks again for your kind reply and advice.
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