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suzy

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  • February 25, 2018 at 1:05 pm in reply to: connecting with others struggle and should i be "o.k." #194659
    suzy
    Participant

    Mark. thank you for your input.

    Can you recommend a communication class?

    I am trying to think of a side business.  Something I can do that won’t take my time away from my children.

    I might be better off not collaborating.  Especially now that i’m not really in a place that i want to be.

    I do want to work towards being a Montessori teacher.  This method i really believe in for teaching.  The challenge is it is costly and time-consuming.

    I have it on my list for 2020 to take the class.

    Thanks again for your thoughts.

     

     

    February 25, 2018 at 11:01 am in reply to: does being rude equate to losing my temper? #194631
    suzy
    Participant

    Roe,

    I am always working to manage my emotions too.

    I have found that I need to give my self “peace space” . This means that i don’t answer work emails or phone calls within a certian time.  This changes depending on my life.  Currently, I only answer between 7:30 and 3:30 (I teach).  I have found when i make it more flexible, I am really not “available” during certain times.  Then if someone tries to connect during this “pseudo available” time I tend to be more impatient.  I’m not ready to receive the information.

    Maybe you could find and reflect what is “your real availability time” . I feel that this opens one up to being better at their job not less.

     

    just a thought..

    communication will always be a journey..

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by suzy.
    February 25, 2018 at 10:52 am in reply to: connecting with others struggle and should i be "o.k." #194629
    suzy
    Participant

    Its like as a teacher i need to be perfect.  I have to have the perfect tone, the perfect equity in talking to students etc.  If i speak to harshly one day i am this horrible teacher who is not looking out for their students.  Its like teachers can’t be stressed, can’t be emotionally charged.  We must always have this calm.

    If a parent or a child gets emotional with me I stay calm, i forgive and we move on. I give another chance.  No grudges.

    If my sister doesn’t like my realism or opinion, she hangs up on me and weeks later she talks to me again, never apologizing.  Though if she does the same thing with me I forgive, i don’t hold a grudge.

    I know I must push people away, they disappear or don’t make time for me.  I’m not sure what I say or do.  I know sometimes I’m too blunt, realistic and negative.  I see all the problems.. but then I also see all of the solutions.  I can come across complaining but I’m really not I’m trying to see all perspectives and a solution to the challenge. or a new way to see it.

    I don’t understand why people don’t speak their minds, why we don’t just get to the point, work it out.

    I live in a vary grey world. With lots of options.  So i struggle when I work with people or interact with others who are black and white.

    I know life is made up of actions, but these actions do not define a person for the rest of their life.  But I sit here and make one action and it defines how the people around me interact with me for lengths of time.

    I want to learn how to communicate with people, how to voice my perspective without overwhelming, how to be heard and listen,  how to let go of the stress of always needing to say “the right thing” . i don’t know what “the right thing” to say is.  I feel like I always say the “wrong thing” . too passionate, to much information, to realistic, to staright forward, to much information.

     

    February 25, 2018 at 7:48 am in reply to: connecting with others struggle and should i be "o.k." #194371
    suzy
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    thank you.  This helps.  I’m having a hard time letting go.  I feel like i need to keep trying ways to motivate, to move to problem solve because these have such a negative impact to me. I am a very forgiving person. People make mistakes but i feel like when i make a mistake people are not so forgiving.  (my kids and husband are awesome).

    I changed my job last year and moved away from the school that I felt was not funding equitably and the teachers would not stand up.  I moved to a private school that is closer to home and my kids can now go to. I expected half the class size and closer i would have less stress and more time.  I don’t. its different stress and i teach 3-grade levels so the workload is similar.  I thought having my daughter on campus, less commute, (like 2 hours less per day). less students would be enough to make up for any challenges.  I am finding it is not. It is definitely not as intense as last year, but still intense.  I have anxiety every night about which parent is going to complain, which child is going to complain.  I’m having to change all of my lessons and connection methods.  what worked in public is not working in private. so much work.

    I feel like humans have this capacity to have a huge impact.  I feel like I just have not learned the right tool. I just need to read more and learn more then I can make a change.

    how do i find calm when each day i could have a parent randomly come up to me and challenge the way i teach? i don’t mind the conversations, its just they take up a huge amount of my time.

    so how do you “have the wisdom to know the difference”

    I would quit my job and stay home right now, but we can not afford to do this in the bay area.

    also when I talk to people I end up putting them on the defensive and shutting them down.  I do a lot of research and I’m very aware of a lot of different options/tools.   so when I talk with them I have thought 100 steps ahead.  I have multiple options and I know the facts.  All this does is shut people down.

    My friend always says that I’m not content anywhere and cannot find collaboration anywhere.  It is true.. I found it once and then my principle unteamed us because we worked too well together.  (not joking).  I thought I would find a team at the new job, but I’m not people are too busy and don’t follow through.

    I don’t know where to tangibly start with this …

     

     

     

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