From reading some of your posts, you should like a very kind soul. You love your kids, would do anything for them, and that in itself is of great value.
Someone once told me about kids in high school, the popularity contest that always exists: everyone just needs to belong “somewhere.”
Where is your somewhere?

And one thing that helped me from a conference: “what is your core issue?”

Are you really struggling with the past, and issues that are brought up? What is the “core issue?”

I believe I am much older than you, and I have NEVER had a good friend. My relationships are all about ME giving, ME compromising. Unlike yourself, I have absolutely NO FAMILY, and never ever will. And I NEVER “had it” either. I grew up something like an emotional orphan. NO ONE cared about me, who I truly was, and I was beaten up from the core of what I am.

BUT I am still hopeful, despite a lifetime of failure. I don’t want to give up. And yet , this whole holiday season, I have been basically “frozen”…the parasympathetic response, that tells you that you are still ‘stuck in the past’……..feeling as helpless as I did as a child. Despite being so much older.

From what you have said, I don’t see these type of deep issues for you: just a general lack of self confidence, and feeling maybe ‘different.’ One thing you could discuss with others is the love you have for your children. Just about everyone, can relate to that.

I hope you can find your core issues, and start doing some positive work for yourself.

You have been married, that is more than I can say for myself. And you have a relationship with your family.
These are good things.

It is not easy to make friends as we age, and if you are only 37, that’s still old enough from my experience to make it harder. People get ‘busy’ as they age. And less engaged with meeting others.

Professionals just tell me to try to do things I like, and it will come in time. What I have found, is you can’t make anyone be your friend. And people do gravitate towards those that are “full” in themselves, have ‘enough’, and can give, and also, these types of people are “easier to be with”, since they don’t expect much from anyone.

There are people out there; but you need to figure yourself out and decide what ‘specifically’ you are looking for.
God bless you, and best wishes. Don’t ever give up…