I am throwing my hat into the ring here with some important thoughts for everyone to consider. I only wish I could have shared this sooner. When we go through a loss of any kind – be it a breakup, moving away, death or any other type of discontinuation of a relationship of importance and love, we forget that the most important thing we have to do first is GRIEVE! It does not matter who hurt who or what happened – the reality is that your wonderful, comfortable situation is no more. You are now in a state of limbo, unsure how to move forward. Accepting that you must grieve is a tremendous part of the beginning of the road not only to recovery but to reinvention and revitalization. By grieving you accept that you are burying the hopes and dreams and everything that went into your partnership as it is. It allows you to look at the future with an open mind. Grieving does not mean you never speak to the person again, or that you cannot get back together in the future – that is something else altogether – grief is the slow process of letting go of everything and beginning new.

Grieving can take weeks, months or years. No one knows how long someone needs to grieve and you have to give yourself that time to do so. Once you grieve, then you can ask yourself – why did I allow myself to fall in love with that person? What was inside me that felt safe and comfortable to take this leap of faith? Why did I want that person to love? Once you grieve you can work on finding your why to quote Simon Sinek. So what you fell in love – everybody does – but why were you so willing to do it with this person? From there you can explore those ideas with the person if they are ready to talk and share. Beginning a new relationship with someone you broke up with can be beautiful or painful based on how you grieve. Give yourself space, give them space and once you are both ready, if they are a part of your why, then be ready to learn to be patient in understanding how to fall in love all over again