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March 6, 2014 at 6:32 pm #52432JParticipant
Hi there.
This is my first time actually reaching out for some sort of connection with others who also are exploring a new concepts or expanding their ways of thought. I am completely new to this and and fearful that I don’t even know where to start or what I’m actually seeking. I have read lightly on Buddha teachings and concepts and feel that there is something here for me but I’m not sure how to identify what I need or what I want. Where I live does not have a local public ally known support system to allow me to learn about Buddhas teachings, but the information I have found is encouraging That I find a teacher, I feel I am left with using the internet but the reading I have done caution people not to use the internet blindly.I am a very structured person who appreciates a start point and steps or instructions on how to reach my goal so to me I feel lost as to how to begin my journey. Lately I have felt very lost, not sure I want my job anymore because it’s so stressful, not sure about what I feel about people in general, not sure I can commit to being the type of mom And wife I think I am supposed to be, not sure if I’m just settling into life because of an expectation that I do. I even question what I actually do for enjoyment is for my enjoyment or do I do,it because I have an ulterior motive behind it of meeting a goal ( frisbee= exercise, home renovation designing = stress because I don’t know anything about trades and structure etc… I wonder if I’ve lost myself or even know myself. I am really lost, I feel that my mind is racing and I try to calm it but then boom !… Life’s obligations converge on me simultaneously and then I set my needs to the side to serve my responsibilities.
I’m lost:(
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