Chrisk,

I highly recommend you download the audio version of Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” (or get the book, if you absorb things better by reading). It was indispensable to me as I was going through a divorce 10 years ago, and it has equal resonance now that my subsequent relationship is going through some turbulence in the wake of my own severe midlife crisis. Try to listen to When Things Fall Apart as if Pema Chodron is talking directly to you–as if all of her wisdom applies directly to the challenges you are currently facing. Her lessons on “cool loneliness” are especially pertinent if you’re desperately grasping for a relationship that will stick. This has been the most powerful resource I have come across when my own life appears on the brink of disaster.

Another bit of unsolicited advice–that you probably already know deep down–is that alcohol doesn’t help when you’re trying to sort out existential problems. I, too, am a heavy drinker, so I am not trying to be condescending in the least bit. But if you can lay off the sauce a bit, you can give yourself a chance at mental clarity. And that, in turn, can help guide you out of this crisis. Just something to consider.

I wish you well through the difficult challenges you are facing.