Thank you for your advice Anita, and for taking the time to reply. It is good to have advice from someone who understands the situation. I knew the answer, but needed someone else to confirm what I felt was the right thing to do.

Serene

Hi Anita,

Thanks for replying. We are both female, not sure this makes a difference? We did talk about her anxiety, she has had similar feelings in previous relationships, but coupled with other issues with the relationship. I think her anxiety is a result of a number of factors, parents, self doubt, guilt and experiences of homophobia.

Thinking about it now, we talked about a lot of things, but not what scared her in particular, she did say she struggled to believe someone could love her as she is. She propelled the relationship forward much quicker than I would have, at times I felt it was too fast, but was equally caught up in the moment.

I felt I was understanding, kind, available, I tried to listen and not judge and reassured her. But this wasn’t enough. She said she can’t cope being in a relationship, so we are not in touch but I feel like I’ve walked away when I don’t want to.