Hi Anita,
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my concerns. It’s always interesting to see how someone interprets one’s message.
It’s very difficult to convey the complexity of one beliefs and understanding, in particular how they were arrived at,
without a face to face back and forth; and even then we tend to interpret what others say, based on our own assumptions.
However, I will try.
I base most of my understanding on two sources, reason (as you observed) and insight/inspiration, of which I
have had many. These things come right out of the blue at times, completely unconnected to what I’m thinking about. The most
all consuming one though, was my discovery that I am, and have always been, a Buddhist. (I was a Catholic at the time.)
I know it sounds ridiculous; but that’s what overcame me, 33 years ago, as I was walking down the street.
I have had many many of these moments over the years, about all sorts of subjects. None, however, was as all consuming as that one.
Some seem childishly simple, like the realization that …… The only truth is ‘What is.’ I came to this conclusion after many years
struggling with the question ‘What is truth?’ Others have had more to do with Buddhism:
What is the Buddha saying with the mudra signifying Wisdom and Compassion, or what is the koan of finger pointing at moon telling us.
The list is long. Yes, I like to be able to justify to myself what I believe, with reason;
but every so often understanding comes from …. who knows where. Let’s face it, if we didn’t believe many many thing, we wouldn’t be
able to function at all, we’d be nervous wrecks. Would I drive my car if I didn’t believe I would arrive at my destination …… probably not.
You raise many points of view, which I don’t presently embrace; but maybe, some day I’ll see the light and say, “You know what Anita, you
were right about that.”
… john

Hi Helcat

I have to apologize for not answering your request about sharing my experiences in discovering buddhism. I have only ever shared this with one other person, who is very close to me; and to explore my deep person feeling on an open forum, would be very uncomfortable. Please forgive me; it has nothing to do with you or anyone else here.
…… john

Hi Helcat,

I discovered Buddhism 33 years ago. It was a life altering experience. I don’t believe or disbelieve in a soul. The same goes for God. They, along with most concept, belong to the myriad of things I have no reason to believe, or not believe. Having said that, I am ‘very’ suspicious of my ego, which I suspect has a vested interest in telling me how unique, different, special, etc. I am. As humans, the primary way we evaluate the world, what we find threatening, good, bad, right, wrong, evil, true, fearful, the list is endless, is by comparison. It’s a survival mechanism, and as such is always skewed toward our self interest …. ego, as you say. I see no reason to believe that I’m special or unique;  different …. sure, but, so is everything else.

…… john

Hi Peter,

I found this book, Hara, the Vital Centre of Man, on the net. It’s here https://terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Hara.pdf

if anyone is interested. I’ve read a few books, that touch on the subject: Zen and the Ways, Zen Training, the Hagakura, A Second Zen Reader, but they’re all either vague, or difficult to follow. Hopefully I’ll be able to follow this one.

THANKS for this. ….. john

Hi Helcat,

Well, I’m very fortunate to be married to an excellent cook, who makes her own bread, with the minimum of salt, to keep my blood pressure under control; so I imagine that the old ways of perserving food (with salt) would probably have killed me before now. So, if I’m not good to her, I will probably notice a marked increase in the saltiness of my food ;- )

……. john