I’m doing a little better with this. But it is still eating at me for portions of every day. I’m going on week 3 of this feeling now.

I still have the feeling/thought of “how did the last year or years of my life pass by so quickly” and “why plan anything when it is going to pass by so quickly and be lost forever”. This makes me sort of feel like nothing actually matters.

It doesn’t help that it seems like every weekend is someone’s birthday and I end up thinking back to how we celebrated last year and how it feels like it wasn’t long ago at all. That just leads me to the feeling that before I know it I will be an old man looking back on everything… Any suggestions for these particular thoughts? Has anyone overcome thinking like this? I have been meditating at night and doing breathing exercises during the day along with reading various books on the topic in my free time.

I sometimes try and trick my mind into thinking everything will be o.k. because medicine/science will find a way to make me live forever, or at least significantly longer. It actually works to some extent. But the feeling always comes back.

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Thank you Matt,

I’m starting to understand what you are saying. But how can I get to this peace when I am so deep in my way of thought that it is consistently there? I understand that meditation and the breathing will help, but these seem to be temporary fixes for me. As soon as I’m done it seems like I automatically say “did it work?” and I am back thinking time related thoughts.

Is there some way to conquer these thoughts with an acceptance? It is what I’ve been hoping to happen; that I will over think it so much I will reach a point of acceptance. But it has not happened. Trying to just quiet my mind does exactly that. I end up not be paying attention to anything and focusing on keeping my mind quiet, including disregarding what might be going on around me (which is why I have stopped trying to do this while driving).

Thank you so much for all your help. I am optimistic now.

Thank you Matt,

This makes much more sense now and I understand what you are saying. But I’m having trouble applying it to my situation.

I think part of what I am dealing with is not wanting the next course to ever come and to take eternity to pick at the course I’m on. The waiter (time) comes to take my plate too quickly and I can’t snatch it back from him in time and it is thrown away while the next course is put in front of me.

Coincidentally on the topic of your example, I go to eat at the same restaurant most Fridays with the same people because I love to do so. I even usually order the same thing! When the meal is over, I have enjoyed it and the company and am not sad it is over because I know I will be there again soon. On the other hand, when great days/events happen I get sad that I know I can’t relive them like I can my weekly Friday ritual. It makes me sad to think that eventually even my Friday ritual will come to an end. Then it is a downward spiral.

Have you ever felt this way? Had a great day/month/year that you would live over and over if you could? Or even just a great thing going that you want to last forever?

I know the next year/month/day will be great in its own way, but why can’t I just stay here? Why can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing now… forever? Obviously I know that these are irrational questions, but they make me sad. Knowing that every day is another day I won’t get back and I’m aged that much more makes me sick. When I was a child my parents would say “don’t think about it”. Now, I sometimes here myself thinking “it’s irresponsible not to think about it”. And the worst part is… it is all I can think about.

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Hey John,

Thank you for the response.

I have been meditating for about a week. I find it EXTREMELY difficult to keep my mind quiet. I even struggle with the thought of keeping my mind quiet as a thought… if that makes sense. They are not all bad thoughts however and it does make me feel better, but only temporarily.

Thank you for the reference I will stop by the book store on my way home from work and pick this up.

Thank you again.

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