Hi Kali, I really relate to some of your struggles right now. It’s very hard to function and have a happy life when we feel like we’re just a broken mess of a person! And trying to become a not-broken-mess seems incredibly overwhelming. I’m glad you said that you’ve reached out to get therapy, because having that neutral person will be helpful in challenging your own thoughts about yourself. In the meantime, maybe some mindfulness practice and guided meditations could help you start to practice seeing yourself and your thoughts and feelings with less judgment. It’s not easy (I’m doing this right now with varying success) but I think it can be helpful. Underneath everything you think of yourself as, there’s a person who is really strong and cool and lovable and worth all the things you think you aren’t. It can take time to find that person again, and then it can take time to believe that you really are that person. But it’s a worthwhile journey.