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SoniaParticipantThank you🥺 it is soothing to hear this 🥺
SoniaParticipantHi Anita,
Yes, this i am starting to see only now…i didn’t wanted to hurt him, but i was hurting me staying in this role and being anxious to not upset him 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you for making the time to respond!
SoniaParticipantHi Anita,
Thanks for reading the last post.
You described it better than me…i was happy for him a long period of time that ” i can show to him he is loved and a good person”, but i ended up not saying anything when he was upset, to not upset him more 🙁And yes, this is why i feel guilty…i don’t want him to think he doesn’t deserve love or anything like this, but i can not continue like in the past anymore, everyday discussing only negative aspects of life 🙁
He needs to stand up for himself and see his value.
Has a lot of emotional backpack from his past…but i stoped feeling like i need to help him see his value.And i don’t know where is the blurred line of ” but that is what a friend is for…”
SoniaParticipantHi,
I am still in my recovery process from people pleasing, letting myself down for others…some phases are hard, as they are new, bur i know they are mandatory
Sometimes i feel like something is missing or as if i do something wrong just because it is not the sameThank you for the check!
I hope i will feel free from my own thoughts on this topix soon
SoniaParticipantHello Anita, Martha
Thanks for the replies. I have done a “detox” from internet, instagram, etc
To be honest, i am changing.
It’s hard some days, I feel guilty for putting boundaries in place, but it’s also relieving
When i feel anxiety very high, i don’t shut it down like before
I let it feel, act, even it is very uncomfortable and i just think ” this is my old people pleasing pattern. I will let it pass”It’s not easy and feelings of guilt arrise more than before as i step in a new “way” of dealing…but i hope one day i will look back and think ” all this work was worth it!”
This forum was very relieving for me. Thank you for your stories as well…
Martha, i am sorry for yoyr situation and i hope you will be better!!!
SoniaParticipantThis was direct to my heart&soul.
Yes, i am afraid of my friend to go in dark places and i also didn’t wanted to be the “push” button for him to go there.
But i see this js an irrational fear now…and this worry was way too heavy for me now to carry it on
I started setting boundaries, which comes with a lot of anxiety as this is not my way of normally doing, but it is good for me.I haven’t expected these many answers…i am reading this blog for years now and now i can see why it is so special.
Thank you!!!!
SoniaParticipantThanks, Anita!
No, my childhood was really good but i am anxious as a kid mostly
Now with people pleasing it just exploded 😅 -
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