It sounds like you and your friend were about as emotionally intimate as two people get. It’s clear that you had great compatibility and love for each other. Something changed which caused your friend to distance herself. I don’t think anything changed about you as a person. I think it was a change in the situation – most likely your marriage. It’s natural for you to grieve the loss of such a close relationship.
I’d back off from your friend for a while. Maybe after some time has passed, you can reconnect. In the meantime, work on other relationships. You are someone who needs to reveal your thoughts and emotions in detail to another person – someone worthy of your confidence. You have your wife (She sounds like a saint. Not many women would be understanding of their husband being this emotionally involved with another woman). Now, you need to find another friend or two (male friends) in whom you can confide. I know there are some men who communicate on this kind of deep emotional level. Maybe join a men’s support group of some kind.
I wish you the very best and am sorry this loss is so hard for you.
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