Forum Replies Created
July 17, 2018 at 10:37 am #217281StrawberryParticipant
Thank you so much for taking time to reply me point by point. I appreciate you and everyone here trying to help me. Everyone’s reply has confirmed to me that this seems to be a normal phase to go through.
I have done everything that you have suggested before posting on this forum. Those actions did help me in staying sane but I later realise that it only distracts me from routine lifestyle for a short time. In this case, only last for a year before I question what am I doing with my life again.
Eventually I did quit my job. It took me a great deal of courage to do so because I knew my kind of industry has very limited jobs in the market. After all I spent half a year to find this job, I should have been grateful right? However, the environment turned out to be very toxic/chaotic and my health suffered from working long hours, including weekends. I kept pushing the idea of resigning no matter how many hours I worked per day. I eventually convinced myself that no job is worth damaging my health.
And so began my journey of unemployment. This might sound strange but I feel really happy after leaving my job. It feels like a perfect opportunity for me to break the 9-6 loop and do whatever I want. I can “nurse” myself back to good health and can now explore my options for career switch. I am happy now but I am also fully aware that the reality of no income will hit me in few months time. Hopefully, I can find a more meaningful job that I love and not crawl back to the same profession…
Wish me luck and bless all who are going through the same as me! I love tinybuddha!July 17, 2018 at 9:09 am #217265StrawberryParticipant
“This thought above is very relevant to your post, I believe: you wrote that you are terrified at the thought of continuing to work like this till retirement age. Isn’t it the image of you being double your age that scares you, being an older or old woman?
I had a safe, secure, higher paying job myself, but I was afraid of doing that for the rest of my life. So I quit, many years ago. Well, I am now older anyway. Quitting didn’t slow down my aging process.
Will you let me know what you think about my reply so far? (I have more thoughts)
Hi Anita, I do accept ageing. I understand its the natural process of life.
I think what I’m having problem with is an internal voice telling me I want a different life/different identity. I have no aspiration to become a CEO or CFO in a big company. Something is telling me office job has no real satisfaction that makes me happy or look forward to work. I am a responsible employee, I still deliver my work even if I don’t like it but I feel very much trapped in a corporate job, hence i started my own side business. I don’t understand what has happened to me at this point, because I work hard to get to where I am today. And it terrifies me that what I have been chasing for no longer appeals to me. I hope I do not sound too crazy at this point..