Toggles, you have made a very brave and a very sensible move in my opinion. I was in the same situation as you for the last two years, my ex was the loveliest and kindest person when he was sober. When he was drunk he used to shout verbal abuse (nothing physical for two years) at me but wouldn’t claim to remember it the next morning. I didn’t know what to do either as I was stuck in this sober/drunk truth confusion, until one evening it escalated to the next level and he physically abused me for the first time. This is the point when I thought enough is enough. You would never imagine someone that loves you to do that, but if they can treat you with such disrespect even as name calling when drunk, then hey – get rid of them while you can. They will ultimately end up doing the unthinkable. You deserve to be with someone that cherishes you. Truth is in sobriety or drink? I agree with Anita here, the truth is definitely in both. The sober side is what they are consciously showing about their personality, the drunk side is what they are unconsciously showing. Either way, you would have to deal with both if you stuck by him…