I haven’t spoken to my brother as yet he’s at work a lot and then with his family on the night I don’t want to intrude on his life I feel I can only speak to him when I’m out of this situation because I’m embarrassed at what I’ve become .

Also with assertiveness if I’m assertive with him sometimes I get a consequence from that as in he won’t speak or will sulk and badge till I say yes. He doesn’t like to hear no very often so agreeing seems easier in the end

Hi guys
Thankyou so much for taking the time to respond to me I am grateful that people care enough to even respond.
His birthday is next wk and he’s asked for lavish gifts when he knows I’m struggling for miney so I’m stressed about that now aswell he doesn’t understand when I say I have no money he thinks I’m loaded and I’m really not.
In answer to Anita the mad thing is I grew up with a dominating stepfather he ruled my mothers life and the whole house and I hated it when I left I was so glad to be free and always said I would never end up with someone like that and I actually have.
It’s like being a child again to me in one way being dictated too so maybe it’s what I know but I know deep inside its not the life that I truly want.
That month when I finally broke away and went no contact was one the best times of my life once I came out of it after the first two wks.
I had so much freedom and could see my friends and one friend said its good seeing you as yourself again. When he came back that time he promised promised to change and I took such a big risk and I thought I made the right choice at first he even bought me a car when he never buys me anything but now the car is used against me as a weapon when I never even wanted it he got it off his own back to win me over.
I’m paying him for the car back now monthly when I thought it was a gift.
I don’t know how people can be this way he earns so much money but will never give willingly.
He shouts at me a lot and blames me for things that aren’t my fault and then sometimes he cries and blames work or blames that he isn’t seeing hi family because of me and I’ve never one stopped him seeing them ever.
Whatever he can find to blame he will.
I don’t know why I miss him when he goes I miss his company when he is nice because he’s really funny and charming and is quite Beautiful looking too. He’s in what I call a nice phase right now but it won’t be long until he erupts again and either leaves or gives me the silent treatment for days.
A few weeks ago he gave me the silent treatment and said he needed time alone it was like we had an argument that never happened because he was being so cruel to me.
I only miss the good times of course I feel like life has no proper structure when he leaves and I find it hard to get it together.
I do not want this life though either .
Thanks so much it helps to talk