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BJ

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • February 3, 2017 at 8:50 am in reply to: How to take criticism without letting it tear you down? #126649
    BJ
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    Nina,

    Thank you very much for those tips! I will be implementing those strategies going forward. I like the “seperating the constructive criticism from the bitchiness”. That is probably my sticking point. I get so caught up in the bitchiness that I can’t even see the constructive aspects – but I will focus on seeing the constructive.

    Anita,

    Much appreciated. Interestingly enough, I’m starting a new job next week and the supervisor told me during the interview that 3 other people have quit this position in the past 6 months, and that it’s partially because she’s a “tough” boss. So I may be in for it. I’ll have to try very hard to implement the “not taking it personal” aspect.

    January 10, 2017 at 11:54 am in reply to: Safe yet routinary job or challenging yet adventurous job? #125010
    BJ
    Participant

    Veronica,

    Congratulations on your decision. Just out of curiosity, now that you’ve taken the position, what are the two jobs? You don’t have to mention company names but I’m wondering what the actual work for the two positions are.

    I personally would have taken the higher salary and saved up the money to create a business that contained the elements of option #2 that you favored. That way you would have the adventure and you would be your own boss.

    January 4, 2017 at 8:12 pm in reply to: I can\'t hold down a job, I\'m thinking about throwing in the towel about work. #124576
    BJ
    Participant

    surfingwig,

    Just curious, but do you think the main reason you didn’t click with your date was the physical thing (tomboy, when you want a feminine woman) or her not getting over her ex?

    I find that when I’m extremely attracted to a woman, I’ll foolishly look over some of the personality flaws because I’m so into her physically. Conversely, when I’m not as attracted, the slightest personality red-flag, I’m totally uninterested.

    What do you think?

    December 24, 2016 at 8:06 pm in reply to: I can\'t hold down a job, I\'m thinking about throwing in the towel about work. #123527
    BJ
    Participant

    Surfingwig,

    Oh man I hate that micromanaging shit too! I had a boss that would literally crap on everything I do if I didn’t do it the EXACT way they wanted, even if I could arrive at the same conclusion doing it slightly different. Meanwhile, my position was supposed to be a “leadership” position that required me to use my own creativity – and this boss had the audacity to bring up my lack of confidence in the performance evaluation. No shit! After criticizing everything I do for 2 years straight, how can I be confident???

    It sounds like you have some amazing talents. You made a 200k deal selling real estate? Wow that is an incredible achievement! Plenty people would crap their pants at the idea of attempting to persuade a client into a big money deal. Your clients liked you – sounds like great people skills.

    I can relate to your feelings of anger and frustration. Something I think to myself “you aint shit! You should be so much further along in life than you are, how can you even look yourself in the mirror”. It’s very tough to deal with those voices sometimes.
    Holidays are tough for me. I’ve dealt with social anxiety on and off throughout my life, so having to sit around big dinners and hold chit chat conversation with people is quite the task lol. I’d much rather be relaxing somewhere by myself. And Monday I get to go meet my girlfriend’s family for the first time, and when they ask me what I do for a living, I’ve got to say some bullshit to get around my unemployed condition.

    By the way, sounds like you know how to cook – another skill you have. Good people skills, leadership experience, culinary skills. I’m just putting it all together. Ever tried restaurant management? A nice low stress career! (not really lol).

    Happy Holidays to you. 2017 is our year to get over this crap man.

    December 24, 2016 at 4:49 pm in reply to: I can\'t hold down a job, I\'m thinking about throwing in the towel about work. #123505
    BJ
    Participant

    Surfingwig,

    It’s interesting that you mention that. Similar to your experiences with your mother yelling, my father was very strict in my upbringing. He yelled at me, and would physically discipline me – sometimes deserved, sometimes undeserved. I think these experiences created some kind of weird “runaway” response whenever I feel I’ve been treated unfairly.

    When I’m on a job and I feel that I’ve been treated unfairly by a supervisor, I just lose all passion to continue with the job and quit. It’s like what the heck – I bust my butt, I go above and beyond to make sure my responsibilities are fulfilled, and if I make a mistake I admit to it and do my best to learn from it – and in spite of all that, I’m getting this unjust treatment? Screw this.

    Also, I hate the butt-kissing aspect. Everybody having to kiss somebody else’s behind to move up in the ranks. I feel like I can’t truly be myself in this type of environment.

    What were your feelings when you were on jobs? Out of the 25 jobs you had, which were your favorites? Also what was your college training in? You said you were president of your frat, so clearly you have leadership skills.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 12 months ago by BJ.
    December 23, 2016 at 6:38 am in reply to: I can\'t hold down a job, I\'m thinking about throwing in the towel about work. #123364
    BJ
    Participant

    For months and months I’ve been reading this board, and enjoyed doing so. But I identify so much with what surfingwig is going through that I had to create an account and chime in.

    surfingwig,

    I’m in a very similar situation – had alot of bad experiences with supervisors/bosses throughout my work career – resulting in some kind of CPTSD, can’t find the right career path to suit my personality and skill set, money getting extremely short, and trying to hold onto some kind of hope that there’s an answer. It is very frustrating not having the finances to move forward with your life and relationships. It feels like you’re sitting inside of a prison cell and there appears to be no key.

    I’m learning alot just by reading your dialogue with Anita. Until we can figure out how to deal with this stuff, all I can say is thank God for parent’s guest houses/guest rooms.

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