I have struggled with this question for years and I think the answer comes back to trust. Trust yourself and be patient.

This isn’t about me but I want you to feel like I have some familiarity with your situation. In the last 15 years I divorced a man I loved because we made each other the worst possible versions of ourselves. I can be proud that he is so happy. Been fired 8-10 times because I have an illness that I won’t share. Taken care of my grandmother until she passed, then my father until he died and then my grandfather. My mother is now blind with heart failure and a stroke. She now lives with me. I have never had another caregiver to help. I have now been hospitalized 3 times for life threatening blood clots. And I’ve added another 120 pounds. I have been in counseling for the better part of 30 years. Life can really kick you in the knees.

Here’s my takeaways. Nobody knows you better than you do yourself. Listen. Love your friends and family. They mean well but they judge you behavior from their eyes and life view. Don’t judge yourself by any social standard. I think there’s pressure to have some grand larger than real life purpose and lifestyle. I finally found the right counselor and I’ve learned how to take care of myself. I no longer expect to be something especially something I don’t want.

You might be isolating but you get out and do things. Maybe not as much as much as you used to but you’re healing and becoming your next self. Next. Not new. Not better. Go easy on yourself. Ask yourself why you don’t go out. If it’s due to fear or overwhelming or physical issues, seek help. If not be confident you are listening to yourself…trusting yourself. You’ve been through a lot. It takes time. Some people are really busy with causes and it’s more to stay one step ahead of the demons in their life. Or to be a show for all to see. In the end if you want to stay home and garden and watch movies on bargain Tuesday’s that’s as noble as if you volunteer.

good luck and good vibrations