Hello guys,

Well, I created an account so that I too, could reply. I think my ex of only 15 months, may be experiencing what most of the men have described and is having a difficult time letting me go. Let me explain. This guy  (my ex), and I met on Matc#. For a couple of weeks we exchanged emails, an a few texts messages. I remember receiving a text from him and I decided not to reply. This guy was super fit, competed and won several titles. I was SO attracted to him. However, Something inside nagged me that he isn’t the one (I’ve always dated w purpose), if I felt a guy wasn’t the one, I would not waste either my nor his time. And the fact I had kids, he didn’t. I couldn’t help but think he may be a ladies man – he was super hot. I hightailed it. Fast forward several years, we both found ourselves single, back on match. He again, found my profile and messaged me. I felt it must be kismet, My kids were older, though fit before, I had become moreso and felt our lives matched. The fact he sought me out a second time felt so romantic/fairytale to me – I decided to go for it. One of his titles impressed me so, I couldn’t believe he wanted me, chose me. He would send me songs to express how he felt for me. One such was You’re the one by John Legend. I swoon even to this day when I listen to it. We became best friends, talked every single night for 3 months before meeting (long distance relationship), one night, we talked for “6 hours”. Unheard of – we made one another feel like teenagers. Called one another soulmate, person, bffs, mirror images. We WERE the one.

But the whole relationship was rocky from the start. Fight, break up, kiss make up. We were inseparable, too. We fed off one another, good energy yet ALL the bad energy. It was so toxic, but we had this chemistry I’d not ever felt before – so intense. I loved it. He was/is my soulmate, but we fought, argued, he was mean to me. Our very last fight was so bad, I maced him. I felt so horrible. There was jealousy, no trust almost from the beginning. But the connection was unparalleled. I remember telling him, the moment I fell head over heels in love w him- NO other man existed. I felt it, I meant it. However he never made me feel the same. I told him more than once, when a person finds the one, all the others cease to exist, at least that’s how I felt.. 

Then came the day I caught him on social media cheating. Liking this woman’s photos (a lot of them), that was the first clue. Then I read some of his comments, contacted her, she sent screenshots of their conversations… and it broke my heart. He even called my mother, talked to her for an hour. He has never had a serious relationship (btw, red flag ladies). This man who, never forgot me over the years, looked for me years later to ask me out again, who told me he wanted me to be the mother of his child (we were looking at wedding rings), ruined my psyche. When I compared some of the dates where he was communicating w her, I was screenshoting pics of engagement rings to him, he was screenshoting pics of her behind, sending it to her via DM. HURT?? Never felt such pain, betrayal, disappointment. I broke up w him after a couple of weeks trying to “get over it/forgive”. It wasn’t the first indiscretion. I believe he is sorry for his mistakes. I decided not to stick around to find out if it would be his last. I believe his family dynamics was similar. Mom cheated and mistreated his father. He ALWAYS accused me of cheating. 

It’s been 2 months, he’s been calling – oftentimes hours on end. Emailing, texting. Apologizing, crying and begging. He’s sorry, promises never to do it again. Told me I’ve made him a better man (only took a yr), not for another woman he says. And he’s right, I have noticed a change. He was a narcissists, mean for no reason at times, for most of the relationship – oh, I gave it back. But w all our other issues I explained to him cheating was the worst thing he could’ve done. If a relationship is rocky – don’t turn outside. 

Through it all, when he calls I sometimes feel the urge to answer, whenever I have in the past – we’d just argue. I’m reminded how pointless, counterproductive it would be. We get along when we are physically together. We do not get along whenever we are apart. I miss him like CRAZY – clearly he misses me. He calls privately attempting to get me to answer, even creates mannny fake numbers to get his calls and texts thru as I’ve blocked him. I completely feel he is the one. He’s my soulmate. Not sure if You – David, believe in soulmates?! I think we all have one, possibly more than one. Your soul aches for them. You feel this instense connection w them. Your heart feels joined as if it will seal off a small corner, that will forever remain there’s. The most unfortunate thing is we don’t always get to spend forever with our soul’s mate. Sad concept, I know. And though I have moved on (he has as well. Dating/sleeping w other women), he will always occupy a small part of my mind. But I will happily keep my heart open ready to fall in love. I honestly believe no other man will ever have me like he had. I’ll spend forever missing him, yet I will not miss the way we treated one another. All I’ve ever wanted was be happy and loved by a faithful partner.  I know I will forever mourn us. But love is sometimes unkind.

You accept the pain while accepting life and love goes on. Don’t deny any emotions, just remind yourself of the misery. You will eventually let go. And move on. Understand this is something that happens to many couples. Who knows, you two might rekindle later in life. Sometimes I think right time, wrong person. Right person, wrong time. Some bad relationships prepare us for the one.

All the best to all♡