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takeflight

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  • January 12, 2016 at 9:18 pm #92329
    takeflight
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Wow your reply is really spot on. Thank you for your enlightenment.

    I have been criticized by the same friend when I had a similar experience years ago, and I guess I am still carrying the same disapproval.

    To overcome this I would need to check for any evidence that the disapproval is true. The evidence for her disapproval for this case is conflicting though. She is supportive of us, but told me not to start a relationship because of the bad timing. This is also one of my concerns causing an inner conflict.

    I’m not sure of how I should deal with this.

    January 10, 2016 at 7:39 pm #92045
    takeflight
    Participant

    Dear Laure and Anita,

    Thank you for your replies.

    After much inward reflection, I guess I was indeed judging my own feelings which caused a conflict within myself. I also internalized an imagined disapproval from our mutual friend. I imagined how she would disapprove and how I would lose her as a friend because of this incident. I’m also scared of getting myself hurt.

    Anita,

    Your last paragraph about my big need to connect is a great revelation to me. I can now accept that whatever I am feeling right now is normal.

    The main cause for my internal struggle is the fear of judgement from my friends. “She’s so cheap, falling for guys so easily.” I imagine them saying. Because of this fear, I’m first judging myself, telling myself that I should not feel this way.

    But is this judgment from friends real? I don’t know. It may be an imagined judgement. And if it is real, my solution should be targeted at overcoming my friends’ judgement, not at denying or stopping my feelings.

    Has anyone here experienced things like these?

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