I have similar feelings. I had terrible anxiety and frustration the other day as I was trying to pick out flowers to put in my back yard. I realized that this was partly coming from my perfectionism. I was also upset that money is tight and had to put a lot of thought into what I could afford. Gardening is so pleasurable to me that it’s become an addiction (one of my many) and so I lose joy when doing it.

I also relate to you in second guessing if I should be doing something else with my time. Guilt takes all pleasure out of the experience. Plus I feel angry that I am taken away from what I am clinging to. So I hold onto it for dear life lol.

I actually decided to become mindful at the store and let myself experience the beauty of the flowers even though I couldn’t take any of them home with me. It also helped me to decide what I could afford the next time I went flower shopping <3