Dear Lalum and everyone on here. I have a similar experience to you all, and I have overcame it. You can get to a place where you have little to no shame or guilt with yourself. Do not fret, for there is a solution to this pain and suffering. Trust me, I had a bad memory come up like the ones you mention, and I was bed ridden for almost a month. My mom thought I was having a mental break down, and I practically was. I had suicidal thoughts to the highest level, I didn’t have any moment of rest. I mean none! I couldn’t function without sleeping all day, my family thought I was going to die. But I figured out what worked for me, and I was able to come to a place where I have no anxiety, guilt, or shame. And it does not involve denial, I know completely what I did, but I have moved on in my mind it is possible guys!