Hey Anita,

I wish it was because I was complaining about them too much. But no, my family hated him because they saw the way he treated me and although they never pushed me to leave him, he knew that they disapproved. So he wanted me to cut them off to prove my love to him, that he was the only person I needed in my life. As for my friends, who are really good people, he always thought they were ‘bad influences,’ as he would say. For the record, he didn’t really hang out with anyone and I definitely had a larger network of friends.

For the controlling and manipulative example, he would always pin it on me when he didn’t get his way. I had 2 friend who I’ve known for over 3 years, he has yet to meet them but he insisted I cut them off. I reasoned with him for as long as I could until I was crying and tired and realized there was never going to be a solution where we both compromise because he said ‘I didn’t love him enough to cut them off and that he wanted to be a priority in his life’. He always used that line against me and I always gave in.

I also told him about my past because he asked and I never wanted to lie to him but he couldn’t get over it. It wasn’t dark or anything to be honest but he just always used it as a reason to fight with me. He had to fight with me until I cried because I couldn’t take it anymore. It was non-stop name calling, during the fights and even when we weren’t fighting. He would subtly throw in the name calling so it didn’t sound ‘rude’ because he didn’t want to be ‘rude’ and also because he respected women (I laugh at this all the time).

There was a lot that happened in the relationship but I believe that I would need a whole year to go through every single detail but this is really just the jist of it.

Ps. for the record he forced me to stop exercising because ‘I didn’t need it’