Dear Anitra,

Thank you for thinking about my post and responding. I feel awful thinking about him as a liar. It makes me feel really bad. I was hoping that insight would say that I needed to work on myself or something, not that my boyfriend is a liar. Do other people reading this agree with Anitra? I see your point about confronting a liar, too. Very difficult work. So what to do.

I do notice that sometimes he seems confused about what happened and his own motivations. He has a terrible time explaining himself, and if he does something inconsiderate, he seems to be completely and totally blocked when it comes to processing it, or self-reflecting. I never thought of that as lying though. On a separate point, I am obsessed with consistency and truthfulness and honesty, so it seems weird that he would want to be my boyfriend if he is a liar – because I think he knows that it would not work out.

Thank you again, I will need to think about this unfortunate read on my posting.