Dave,

I’ve learned that no matter what people tell you, in this cases you will do what you feel is right for you. Only that in this state, we don’t think clearly enough. If she’s contacting you, she either feels guilty and she does care for you and wants the best for you, only not romantically. OR she sincerely wants to be friends. But think about yourself. The fastest way to get over this situation is through no contact. She has to respect your decision. She made a pretty big one that involved you as well and she never asked for your opinion.
Getting back together, i’m sorry but it’s very rare. My opinion is that it only happens with on and off relationships.

I can identify a lot with begging and pleading and then feeling ashamed. I did the same and wish I could take it back. In my eyes, when time passes and she thinks back to what we had, she will have lost some respect for me. You don’t have to explain anything to her really, just state the fact that you can’t be friends. Tell her maybe after some time, if you need to reassure yourself. Ultimately, you don’t even need to reply to her. if she’s mature enough, she will understand.

It’s been a little over a month for me, and even though it feels better, I still have a long way to go. I’m going through the same as you. Another man was involved, only I don’t know the details and every time I think about it, I feel it takes me back a few steps. If she was randomly texting me or sending me stuff, I don’t know where I’ll be right now. You need to get her to stop.
I still wake up every morning thinking about her, and I think that’s bad enough, but I know that will pass with time. Don’t get frustrated if you feel you can’t stop yourself from caring about her. But right now it’s important to care about yourself the most.

Courage!