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TracyParticipantWe both still worked then, but at that time his job was a bit less demanding. Now there’s a new project that’s come up for him. I also still work.
it was good. Of course there would be a misunderstanding here or there but it was rare. Or ever too small to even remember.
TracyParticipantHi Anita,
thank you you so much for your response.
For the firs two and s half years we did things that would constantly show / remind the other that they are loved and that they were the most important person in the world. In fact, Like I was the only person in the world.The it just felt like there was less effort put into showing each other that as opposed to the first couple of years, more as time went by.
Now it only feels like something is lacking because there’s barely any time made. Well still tbits not even at 50% showing, but claims it’s because of the turn Work has taken.
I have seen how busy work has gotten, even late at night or on weekends it’s a 24/hr operation that requires his attention. We have gone from texting 24/7 to a couple of calls and texts in the day.
So I feel, there’s not much effort put in as before. To meet or to even express himself with words as before. Hence kind of leaving me feeling abit unsatified.
im not sure if I’m being unreasonable or blind!
TracyParticipantI agree with eha eliana has just said above. He is not being very nice and him just saying ‘goodnight’ was very insensitive.
however, after dating my boyfriend for 3 years and bing great, and now suddenly very very busy, i too have felt exactly how you described in the first paragraph, sidelined and like an option. it also caused problems. i had meltdowns ever week and also started to begin i wasclingy… Just like your boyfriend, he would listen to my ‘cries of distress’ and would do something about it. Even though not 100% i would see him try. so for that i would say give credit where its due.After a lot of push and pull, i learnt that yes their life is busy as hell. and not to make an excuse for them but some people, they cant handle all the pressure. the moment you sart to feel and react, they withdraw. and they pull away even further.
my practical example. M boyfreind and i used to meet every single day and like kids would talk almost every minute of everyday. and then boom. the drastic change. i struggled and through it all, he kept saying ‘you need to calm down, im not here to mess you up.i wouldnt be in this if i didnt want to.’ i got so clingy to the point i was analyzing his moves. for example by sayingthings like’you had free time on this day between 6pm and 9′ you could have come around seeinf i havent seen you in 4 days…etc…and then hell would break loose again. but slowly i started to hang out more with my friends, and family and do stuff for myself, and slowly i began to see him come around more. even on his very busy day he would call a couple of times in between etc.
my point is don be too quick to call it quits. sometimes you just have to be unavailable a little and see if he will come looking for you. (and i dont mean a text here and there). Men are hunters. and they know what they want and how to get it. so if youre unavailable. he may gt the idea he is losing you and will come and do whatever it takes to keep you…. if he does then its fine to have him around. if not then hes not yours to keep.
xx
tracy
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