Hi Anita,

That is a good idea reminding her of our strength as a team if she reaches out.

And yes, I do think she will reach out at some point.  I’m still torn, though

Hi Anita,

Thanks for the feedback. It’s not all as clean as it seems. Both times, after she asked for no contact, she called me and we talked just as we did before. Both breaks, she said, is because she needs space to sort out her life after her divorce (which was 5 years ago). My belief is that this comes from her anxiety. The first time we split we just got back from a wonderful vacation together, her ex had just married the woman she caught in her bed, and her daughter was getting ready to move out of state. One day the six of us, including our kids, are playing a card game and she brings up all of us going to Disneyland in December. Literally the next day she dumped me. This time we had also just got back from vacation, her daughter just moved in with her BF, her ex is about to have a baby and we had been talking about where to have our wedding.

She had told me in the past that she is afraid that I was going to leave her so it made her want to end things first. I know she is hurting and I want to help. Her anxiety has gone into overdrive and things with us are very real, which scares her. Our only arguments are over who loves each other more. This all plays into why I think that working on the issues is key. Her kids and family also feel the effects and have for quite some time; long before we met.