Such varied response times. I’m sure things have changed since November. In a sense, I’m sure most everyone has learned how to speak and use subsequent mannerisms from mimicking another, or from watching and trying the same things as a character in a book or movie. As myself, I was always consumed by my reading when I was younger, and movies and books would have profound changes on my demeanor and bearing; I’d find that it was difficult to be ‘me’ after watching something profound. My ‘style,’ or my ‘expression of language’ was constantly changing, and I think I suffered from a similar thing you described, Nana–I just didn’t have a unique way of expressing myself or talking, and whenever I thought I might, it changed and became awkward and strained again.

It wasn’t until University that I found a way. I reveled in my studies and that helped fuel an inner dialogue and attain the language I wanted to use. You’d have to reconcile who you want to sound like and who you have found that you sound like (even if this persona changes from time to time), and fuse them into one person. I’ve always scoffed at meditation, but I’ve found a method that works for me, when I’m in need of direction and focus. I believe you can do this ^__^