Kelly what you said just made me feel so good and realistic. I am a type of person who is really flexible and can do anything to make my better half feel like a fairy . I am scared that has a reason – past. My life has a vulnerable part and that is my love side. I want to show things but something or the other bad thing happen. I try to keep my thoughts positive but seeing a future without her makes me sad as for now. My identity is not wrapped up , it is lost . Lost because it’s been so long that I have been desiring her and I feel i should do nothing to jeopardize our bond. When i think about her it’s wonderful but when it leads to over thinking it feels like a sudden pain to me. I am happy go lucky types but losing her to some other guy is what I am not willing to digest. I am definitely gonna work on my confidence and self-esteem part.

Thank you all !
But till now I am all very scared , and writing this also gave me goosebumps. I don’t know what lies for me . The desire of taking our friendship to next level is on peak. The problem further continues with she getting proposals from guys who are better than me in every sense. The fear is literally killing me – I sleep and wake up with her thoughts . She said last week to me that ‘ if two people are meant to stay together they’ll always stay together’ , i don’t know what she meant by this but I am thinking to abide this thing. And setting boundaries is difficult as the deep talking is on since last 3 yrs. She is like a very big part of life now , if I lose her by any chance it would mean that I’ll lose myself. I am being a spectator and act all normal . Sometimes it strikes like I should grab and kiss her . All these thoughts are making me hate these days, but still trying to deal with it. Fingers crossed and praying .