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I have an update. Today, I talk to some else that knows her and he said she was not interested any more. Apparently, she didn’t know what do about the situation, so she stop talking to me. It would have helped if she would have communicated better instead of leaving the phone on the cradle. I hate it when women do this. It’s not that hard to communicate. I find this behavior immature. At least I know it’s over now. Good riddance. It was always more trouble than what it was worth. There are still lingering feelings for her, but I say in two weeks I will be fine. It was a short relationship, so the damage isn’t severe.
I already started about a week and half ago working on other activities like exercising at the gym, programming, watching movies, and work. I will be learning Korean in class and native environment in a few weeks. I still can’t believe she plays so much video games. Perhaps this was better for me, than having to deal with her addiction had things gone according to plan.
After hours thinking about what happen, I sent her one last email last night. I told her, I forgive her for what she has done and that if she ever needed help she can call me, but that any thing between us is over. I also told her I would give her my game account since I don’t need it any more. I mention other things in the letter, but that was the most important part of the email.
This single act released me of any guilt, regret, sadness, and hate. When I was writing the letter, I remember that forgiving is important in life. I used to be a Jehovah Witness when I was a child and teenager, but I left due to academic pursuit. People I knew didn’t treat me well after I left, but ultimately I was right and the organization made changes years later I told the elders and father needed to happen. I forgave every one that did me wrong. Like this women, I had a no forgive and no forget policy, but I learned that is a miserable way to live. That is why I forgive her for what she has done. When I sent that letter, all of my frustration, anger, sadness, regret, and guilt vanished. I feel happy once again. I am in the right. She can’t hurt me in any way. If she chooses to accept my help, she must admit she was wrong. I told her in the letter that maybe when she matures more, she will remember what I told her and recognize that I was in the right.
I know those elders and my father later recognize I was in the right. I know many felt afterwards I was unjustly push out of the organization cause I wanted to purse a scientific career and not spend as much time at church or going out for door to door service. At time, the organization stress short careers that didn’t require huge time commitments. Profession like a doctor, engineer, or a PhD were not encourage. She will realize this when she matures. Assuming this happens if not it doesn’t matter.
I’m happy for myself. I recognize that I have matured and it doesn’t matter if she understand why I’m doing what I am. What is important is what I think and feel is right.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 