Hello LDR,

It seems to me that you are taking positive steps. You are seeking objective help, are aware of your feelings and how it impacts you, and have made an attempt to communicate with him about what you need to make this work. I agree whole heartedly with Buddhist Wife when she said that it is not unreasonable to spend more than 5 rushed minutes on the phone with you. That being said, it doesn’t mean that anything bad is going on. This is you story telling based on the lack of connection with him (and more importantly, with yourself) at this time. There are more important questions to be asked, and this should be the focus of your journey. Is this enough for you, and does this relationship align with your hopes and dreams? Does it uplift you, or bring you down?

After 2 years, it’s possible that he’s showing you exactly who he is and what resources are available to him right now. His priority is work, and while that is respectable in it’s own right, that type of person isn’t for everyone. I suggest that you take some time off for personal reflection. Communicate to him that this is what you need right now, and set the boundaries to allow this to happen. There is nothing more empowering than doing something like this for yourself from a calm and centered place. And providing yourself this nourishment will pay you back tenfold, not right away, but somewhere along your journey.

At a certain time, you have to trust that negative thoughts, while potentially unfounded in their details, can be a sign that it’s not the right time to be with that person, and more generally perhaps not with anyone at all. It’s a sign that there is work to be done with one’s self, as negativity is typically a disconnect between what we want and what we percieve to have.

Warmly,
Inspired