Hi Michelle,

Thank you for your kind words! I agree with you on the ‘screw that!’

You said that my post really reminded you of your past, from your experience can I ask if you have any advice that you could share about how you moved past your experience, and how you gained that strength to be able to say ‘screw you!’

Thanks for your reply!

Winchester1990

Hi Airene,

I honestly do still hold hope because I never wanted to break up, and as much as I tried to show him that when he ended things it just wasn’t enough. So part of me is still holding on, and I think a lot of the guilt does come from that because I feel like I have gone against what I truly want (which is for us to get back together). But then we can’t be in a relationship if I have to convince him to want to be there, nor can he expect me to be there for him when he has broken up with me right?

So I had to protect myself and tell him to stop contacting me, but these feelings of guilt and worrying that I have done the wrong thing are really eating me up!

It isn’t really my full intention because I do still love him and I do still hold that hope that he will come back, but all he has done recently is hurt me, so I am really trying to make that my intention. It is just really hard to break that attachment.

Thanks so much for your reply!

Winchester1990

Hi Anita,

Thank you so much for replying, the whole Win-Win, and Lose-Win relationship dynamics really make sense to me, I just find it really hard to tell him how it makes me feel when he does make me feel bad or pressurize me as I’m worried about making him feel any worse than he already does. I feel like I’m already building up feelings of anger and resentment towards him, I suddenly find myself thinking things like we’re in a relationship and I feel like his babysitter, it upsets me when I think these things because I know he’s struggling and I want to be there for him.
Do you have any advice about how I could communicate these things with him without making him feel worse? He’s already told me his anxiety makes him feel weak, silly and like a kid, and I would like to talk to him in a way that helps him and offers positivity rather than bring him down further.

Thank you so much again for your reply!