Thanks for sharing and reaching out. There must be a part of you that knows it’s possible, and hopes that someone will be able to provide the solution. The problem is, the solutions that work for others may not work for you, so give yourself permission to experiment with things and find what works for you.
If you’re looking for help, a great coach (look for an ICF-certified life coach) can guide you in how it works best for you to give (and accept!) validation from yourself.