You’re not a mess up Ale27490! We all have tried finding ourselves, from trying new things to becoming a little more rebellious. There’s nothing wrong with learning from past experiences. You need to focus on the present and not so much on the past. I know that’s not the easiest thing to do but if you want to escape the sadness, find an activity you enjoy or exercise to get your mind off things and that may help you become more motivated. The only way to find inner peace is to accept life for the way it is. That means you need to accept who you were before and who you are now. Be proud that you are now addressing these feelings. That’s the first step in anything. 🙂