Hi Kind Souls,

Today marks the 8th day without porn. So far, I don’t feel the ache.

Thanks for the heads up, Helcat. If women are unknowingly stopping birth control, that’s really scary. You’re definitely making me take condoms more seriously. I’m big on respect and I’m a passionate person, so I don’t just want consent, I want that enthusiastic consent. I can’t accept anything less.

Anita, thanks for telling me the meaning of Mufasa’s name. I included it because he was a respectful king and a good father to Simba (Lionking movie), and I admire his traits (which I think are similar to mine), He treats every creature in his kingdom, from ants to elephants, with the utmost respect they deserve.

Getting into other things, Modern dating is hard. First of all, I’m not attracted to many people that easily—not that I hate them, but even in dating, I refuse to compromise on a lot of things. Tinder and Bumble give us so many choices, but I think they’re also taking a hit on my already low self-esteem. I’m not that bad, probably a little above average. Even creating a profile requires so much effort, and I only got one match. She was way too young and just… meh vibes.

But here’s the thing: I started online language classes more than a week ago, and the teacher is quite friendly. I like her. We even engage in light flirting sometimes. Today though, during class, I heard a man’s voice in the background—probably her boyfriend or something. It annoyed me so much that I couldn’t focus for the rest of the class.

Now, I’m questioning myself. Why am I getting jealous over something silly like this? She’s just a teacher, and my goal is to learn a language. Why am I making it complicated by developing feelings for her? Am I really that desperate? And if I am, then that’s an issue.

Hi Helcat,

You said
There is nothing wrong with dating short-term if you communicate that it is your intention from the beginning.
Okay, that’s something I need to understand properly. The people I’m around see it as a bad thing and are suggesting that I should find true love or a soulmate, as if it’s that easy.

Porn is not the same as sex.
I know, but I think sexting has made it seem more realistic for me. To be honest, I don’t even like the idea of condoms right now because I’m more into oral things. Giving and receiving both. But yes, safe sex is important, so I’ll definitely be aware.

I have a question: In the future, when you are ready to settle down, would you consider marrying someone from these races? If not, you might be treating them like pornography.
Obviously, yes! That’s the reason I want to explore. If I feel like this is the woman I want to spend my life with, then I would consider it. The thing is, I haven’t spent time with any of them in person yet, but I think I can figure out what I want after spending time with them. For example my generalized observation might be that an Asian woman would be more polite and into family values, while a Latina woman would be quite expressive etc.
I know I’m running for the best possible one. But is that wrong?

Also, thanks a lot for sharing useful tips. I do I think those will be helpful when I lose my virginity soon (hopefully). I’m already thinking about starting to use dating apps. Enough virtual illusion.