Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it.

His wife (his 2nd, whom he married after we had known each other for 3-4 years already) knows we are close and always have been. She is okay with that, and has said things to him like, “If you or she need that, it’s okay.” She has never expressed any jealousy. However, my friend has said that he does not feel like he could tell her that we have feelings for each other. He loves his wife very much, and would not want to hurt her. That is why we have agreed that nothing physical could ever happen between us. It would jeopardize his marriage. So, for the most part, our relationship is continuing the way it always has – with many letters back and forth, and talking from time to time – but now we also know just how deeply we care for one another.

Matt, in regards to your comment about what my friend gives me that my husband doesn’t… I actually talked with my husband about this a couple of nights ago. I love my husband and he loves me. I do not necessarily feel like our relationship is lacking in some way. However, the connection I have with my friend is just completely different than what I have with my husband. My husband and I have a strong friendship, and a commitment to support each other, raise a family together, and grow old together. The relationship with my friend feels like it was started in another realm. It is a spiritual bond I have with him that I don’t share with my husband. One is not better or worse than the other, just different. And my husband acknowledged that he just isn’t as interested or passionate about the same things that I am – the things that I talk with my friend about: death, life, God, the meaning of it all. Most importantly, my husband was fine with that. He said he doesn’t feel threatened by all of this, and is glad that I have an extra person in my life to talk to.

It feels so good to have found these two loves, almost too good to be true. I do not think it is healthy to expect one person to fulfill all of our needs, and I think by putting that expectation on my marriage, I would inevitably become disappointed. I’m trying to be very mindful of keeping boundaries with my own marriage, and in regards to my friend’s spouse. And I’m trying to detach from any idea about how this should all play out. For the time being, it’s simply nice to feel a little extra love.

Thanks again for your responses.