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zenkoans

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  • January 13, 2017 at 7:21 am in reply to: Sad and Confused, Please Help #125167
    zenkoans
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    Hi thespencer,

    Love can really bring out the worst in us – from both sides. Love that is needy (I need him, he needs me for whatever reason) is really tough to deal with. You both needed each other in the past for support and encouragement and now this person has let you down. Did he sleep with you because he loved you? Probably not but here is the thing that you need to think about – moving forward without him in your life. He is a teacher, he has taught you a lesson and now you need to begin your life anew. You will meet many people like this in your life – some will have a positive effect and some a negative one but they all have a lesson to teach you.

    You are on a Buddhist website, so hopefully you will read some articles, quotes about life/relationships that will begin to inspire you. Instead of Xanax, why not try some meditation? Or exercise or do something good or kind for someone else. It will make them happy and maybe you will start to smile again. Because you will smile again.

    Take care, stay open and be wise.

    January 13, 2017 at 7:03 am in reply to: Poor Medical/Dental Health Accumulates Debt… and misery #125166
    zenkoans
    Participant

    Jade,

    You have poor dental health but you are not dead. Or starving or living in some war-torn country or even dying of an incurable disease. Lighten up. There are so many worse things that can happen to you but when we get bad news, we tend to create the snowball effect in our minds – just making things get bigger and bigger and worse and worse. Guess what? You take care of your health and body and so do I – I eat healthy, organic food, exercise, try to reduce stress, etc. And yet, my health can deteriorate as much as yours and become even worse. None of us are immune from bad news, illness or death. But we must take care of this body of ours nevertheless so here is what I suggest you do – find a way to pay the 10K. Write down some affirmations such as “I will acquire the money for my dental treatments” or “The money I need for my dental treatments is available to me.” Read these affirmations daily and create a plan of action for paying for your treatments. Keep thinking positively while also being grateful for the good health that you still have. If you see an obstacle as an open door, then good things can come in.

    Take care, stay open and be wise.

    January 13, 2017 at 5:21 am in reply to: First real break up. I need help desperately. #125159
    zenkoans
    Participant

    Shaheed,

    Breaking up is always hard, especially when it is our first love or someone that we feel so attached too for such a long time. I would suggest that if you are interested in understanding love from a totally different perspective that you read a few books by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist Zen monk who talks about love without attachment, selfishness or desire. In the West, we are caught up with the fairytale “Mr/Ms. Right” which is not what true love is really about. Thich Nhat Hanh explains all of this beautifully and if nothing else, he will offer you some insight about relationships which you have never taught about before.

    I leave you with one last thought – true love must start with you loving yourself first. That takes a lifetime of work but unless you begin with yourself, you will walk around this world half asleep which most people are doing.

    Take care and be wise.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by zenkoans.
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