Tiny Wisdom: Saying Yes Because You Think You Should

“It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” -Unknown

Have you ever felt a strong instinct to say no to something—but then said yes anyway? I did this a few months back, when someone contacted me on behalf of a bestselling self-help author, asking me to promote his book.

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I love sharing books that have made a difference in my life. And I generally choose which ones to feature based on a genuine desire to introduce them to you.

When this author’s marketing team contacted me this summer, asking if I’d help make his book a bestseller—without offering to send me a copy—I felt a strong resistance. It felt too much like a business arrangement to engender my earnest support.

Based on what I read about this writer online, I ascertained his book would be a valuable resource, so I agreed to share it—despite only receiving three chapters in a PDF.

As the time got closer, I recognized I wasn’t operating with complete integrity, and ultimately decided to renege. His team sent me a number of angry emails, letting me know the author is “the real deal” and that there was no one else on the planet like him, sharing what he’s learned.

When I recognized the high-pressure, fanatical tone, I instantly felt I’d made the right decision—not because there’s anything wrong with the book or the author, but because the circumstances themselves did not feel right for me.

Ironically, I’d done something I’ve written about before: I made a decision based on value attribution—meaning I assumed I should say yes solely because the author is established and renowned.

In a world where influence is king, we all need to be mindful of how and why we’re swayed if we hope to make decisions for ourselves, based on what we feel is right for us.

This is particularly pertinent when it comes to how we spend our money, as there will always be a groundbreaking new system, or a life-changing new course, often promoted by people we admire and trust.

That’s to not to say we shouldn’t support them and we wouldn’t benefit by doing it. It’s just that we’re best equipped to help ourselves when we say yes because we actually want to—not because we think we should.

Photo by jamiehladky

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal, Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal, and Tiny Buddha's Inner Strength Journal and co-founder of Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. For daily wisdom, join the Tiny Buddha list here. You can also follow Tiny Buddha on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

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